10 ways to tell you are just here for the food.
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February
2018
2

Where to start?

10 ways to tell you are just here for the food

We all have that friend. You know, the one that doesn’t really care about football, but is a very serious and dedicated patron of football food. This Sunday brings us the “Big Game,” the biggest sports day in the American calendar—and for many of us, the second-biggest holiday of overeating.  Let’s find out if you love the game or you’re just here for the food. Personally, I'm really, truly excited for this food holiday…er…I mean game day. Ok, fine. I’m just here for the food.

  1. You were the first to RSVP to the party. Then ask what you could bring... before the invite was sent out. (Awkward.)
  2. You plan your outfit around the menu, not the teams. No white pants here!
  3. You have an hour by hour eating plan. That just takes dedication.
  4. The host asks you to bring your own snacks.
  5. When food commercials come on it’s like Pavlov’s bell. You instantly head back for a refill of finger foods.
  6. You spent all day Saturday crafting a scale model of a football field out of food.
  7. Red zone means you’re dangerously low on salsa.
  8. Your idea of a blitz is getting first dibs on the jalapeno poppers.
  9. You said, “Hail Mary”? I thought you wanted a bloody mary.
  10. You have a celebratory dance for when someone shows up with more buffalo wings.

It's not a party without a football made of bacon now is it?